How to have stress under control

To be calm in a stressful situation you might follow the next steps:


1. Identify the cause of your stress.
Is your heart pounding because that idiot just cut you off on the freeway, or is it because of that presentation you have to give to your boss this afternoon? Think for a moment and try to figure out what’s really bothering you.

2. Choose your response.

Even if you’re powerless to change the source of your stress, you have the power to choose how you’ll respond to it. The appropriate response to stress should depend on what’s causing it: you can either shake off your stress (ignore it and let it go immediately) or face it head-on. In order to choose your response, ask yourself some questions like Does it matter?, How much control do you have over the situation?, Is the source of stress in the past, present, or future?, etc.

3. Shake it all off.

If a situation is beyond your control, or if it just isn’t that important, stop worrying about it. Easier said than done? Just do it: Inhale deeply through your nose, think about something else, vizualize relaxing things, get away from the stress cause or get some exercise

4. Face your stress source head-on when you're ready.

Getting stressed is not going to resolve the situation. Facing your stress head-on is really just a way to shake off a bad situation that you cannot or should not ignore. If you can change the outcome of a situation that matters to you, the quickest way to overcome that fear or to empower yourself is to take action as quickly as possible. Once you’ve resolved the underlying problem, you can shake off the stress because it no longer matters. If you feel paralyzed, use the steps above to relax and temporarily distance yourself from the situation just long enough to be able to see it clearly.

5. Make a plan.

Sometimes you can resolve a stressful situation right away with one action, but often you’ll need several steps, perhaps over a long period. Write out a plan with attainable goals and a time line for reaching those goals. Additionally, many stressful situations are avoidable. If you prepare ahead of time for important events and make contingency plans, you may not have to cope with as much stress later. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

6. Take one step at a time.

A complex problem can be overwhelming, even when you’ve got your plan mapped out, but remember: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Just focus on one small goal at a time.

7. Be realistic.

If you continue to experience stress because no matter how hard you try you can’t take the steps quickly enough, you probably haven’t set realistic goals. In a culture that values a can-do attitude, it can be hard to accept that sometimes you can’t do something, at least not within a given period of time. If that’s the case, revise your time line or lower your expectations. If you can’t do that, the situation qualifies as one which you can’t control. Learn from your experience, but let it go.